Tag Archives: motivation

Choosing the Life we Live

How many of you out there feel yourselves compelled, or even forced into, living a life that you don’t really want?

It’s something, from as far as I can tell, that most people seem to do. Not so long ago, over a beverage or four, a friend of mine said to me: ‘I couldn’t live my life the way you live yours, Jay. I wish I could but I can’t. It’s just not in me. You do things your own way and it always seems to work out for you. I wish I could do that.’

This from a guy, who is financially successful, has a beautiful wife, a lovely home and a wonderful work ethic. To say I felt a mixture of emotions would be an understatement. I felt a real and tangible sense of pride that he knew me well enough to know that I march to beat of my own drum. Yet, confusion also. I am not well off. I am a struggling writer. I am single, with no home of my own. From the outside looking in, I often found myself envious of him. Yet, as it turns out, he envies my way of living life compared to his own, if not the material rewards.

Sometimes, choosing to follow your own rules is tough. Hell, it’s more than tough. There are moments of despair, depression and angst. A longing to be just like everyone else. Part of the herd. Yet when he said what he said to me, I could only conclude one thing: if I did follow the worn path that most people follow, I would live the rest of my life wondering ‘what if?’ Something I can never find in myself to do.

I am not saying I am better or worse than anyone else, nor am I judging peoples choices on the type of life they ‘choose’ to live. I am merely stating, that living the life you truly want is the only way I can truly live. For if we are not creating the future we truly want, are we living at all?

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My new novel’s title

I’ve been wondering whether I should be telling anyone this or not, but I thought, what the hell. My novel has been coming along slowly these past few months. Sporadic periods of writing followed by weeks of ignoring it and now, well, lately it has been coming easier and it has been a daily present in my life.

As someone who writes a lot of short stories, I have found that when I get an idea for a short story, the title seems to come right along with it. Just like the night follows the day, the title follows the idea. With this novel, it has been quite different. I have tens of thousands of words written and yet it failed to materialize. Anxious, disappointed, worried: YES! I was all those things. Until the other day when I posted a piece on here about the ‘words not coming.’ Well, only moments later, the title fell into my lap. Rather it floated into my psyche.

‘As the Black Crow Flies.’

Firstly I will ask you NOT TO STEAL IT!!! Secondly, I’m not looking for an opinion on it like a worried mother wondering if she is raising her firstborn correctly. No, I am just happy to share it. It’s quite odd because although the story was coming along slowly, it was still coming along. Now, however, since it has a title (its real title) the novel feels more real somehow. Now I can picture it on bookshelves or on amazon. I am already working on the book cover in my mind. Not only has the title brought me a sense of relief it also has brought a new sense of optimism that, yes, the book is on its way. Not since the idea for the novel first birthed itself have I been this excited and more importantly, motivated.