I’m a writer who doesn’t really blog about writing all that much. Not that I don’t want to, I just prefer to blog about the stuff that gets to me that I see in the real world every day. There is only so much I can say about being a writer anyway that hasn’t been said before. I’ve got a few ebooks on sale and my never-ending novel trudges on and on; as of yet, incomplete.
You may also have noticed that my posts on here tend to be pretty serious. Mostly.
Well, now for something a little different …
Believe or not, this talented, attractive (and modest) man is a singleton! Yes, hold back your cries of ‘WHAT!’ for it is the truth. I am still waiting for my ‘one’ to appear. Possibly through a drunken haze or falling backwards off a bar stool; hopefully not. Although waiting might be the wrong word to use, for I would say I’m pretty active in seeking her out.
Yes. I speak of online dating. Over the years I have dabbled on and off and met with lots of lovely ladies. Some of whom were not stalkers or Glenn Close wannabe’s. I chose this route because of a few things. Firstly, where I live. I’m rural. Enough said. Secondly, I’m not the sort of guy who hits the pubs and clubs every weekend. I’m not a big drinker, therefore the top meeting place of newly formed couples, is not somewhere I go too that often. Thirdly and finally, a sub reason to the second ‘excuse’ is that all of, or the majority of my friends are engaged, married, have children or live in a different country. Which means, ‘boys night out’ are few and far between.
Now, I have a few problems with online dating. (Well I wouldn’t use a blog unless I had stuff to give out about. That’s what they’re for? Right? Right?)
The obvious one being the dating profile with no picture. Yes, I understand there is still some stigma attached to online dating and yes, sometimes you have to be cautious yadda-yadda-yadda. But would I approach someone on a night out with a paper bag over my head and try to initiate a conversation? Nope. Worse still, would someone expect me to talk back to them if they were wearing a paper bag over their head? Nope. Yet again, what is considered common sense and decency in the real world is forgone in the online world. I can honestly say I have received abuse from women who have had no pictures of themselves up, when they mailed me to talk and I replied that I don’t talk to anyone I can’t see. Surely that is the basis of initial attraction. How someone looks. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not a shallow person; someone’s personality is of equal, if not more importance in the long run. However (and we all have different types of people we are attracted to) how someone looks is part of the attraction of a potential mate.
Next is what I call the ‘online shopping’ phenomenon. This applies equally to both males and females and to some degree I am guilty of this myself.
With all these profiles of the opposite sex to browse through, at times I think, we find someone we like the look of or the sound of from their profile and just put them to one side in case we come across someone better. An alternate if you will. It’s like looking for a pair of shoes. You find one you think might fit you well; looks good; is the right size, but it’s still not enough. You want to perfect shoe so you keep browsing until eventually all the shoes begin to look the same and you end up with no hew shoes at all.
Finally, although the idea of online dating is a good one (that you can find people with common goals and interests without having ‘waste’ any of your time finding these things out over the space of a few dates) the truth is different. Anyone I have taken on dates through online dating, I have done so because I believed from their profiles that they sounded like someone that would be a good match for me. They enjoyed reading a lot and loved movies. They like history, don’t own any pets et cetera, et cetera. There was one woman in particular, who according to her profile, ticked almost every box I could think of with regards to a potential partner.
We had one date!
The reason? Chemistry. Or the lack of. She was a lovely woman and even though we had so much in common and both like how the other person looked, there was just no chemistry between us. It was like going on a date with your sister!
So, basically, although online dating has a lot to offer, try not to look for the ‘perfect match.’ It’s more important to keep your mind open and just like you would do on a night out, if someone approaches you, don’t turn away just because you spot a tiny ‘flaw’ instantly. Speak to them, see where it goes. You never know what could happen.