How many of you out there feel yourselves compelled, or even forced into, living a life that you don’t really want?
It’s something, from as far as I can tell, that most people seem to do. Not so long ago, over a beverage or four, a friend of mine said to me: ‘I couldn’t live my life the way you live yours, Jay. I wish I could but I can’t. It’s just not in me. You do things your own way and it always seems to work out for you. I wish I could do that.’
This from a guy, who is financially successful, has a beautiful wife, a lovely home and a wonderful work ethic. To say I felt a mixture of emotions would be an understatement. I felt a real and tangible sense of pride that he knew me well enough to know that I march to beat of my own drum. Yet, confusion also. I am not well off. I am a struggling writer. I am single, with no home of my own. From the outside looking in, I often found myself envious of him. Yet, as it turns out, he envies my way of living life compared to his own, if not the material rewards.
Sometimes, choosing to follow your own rules is tough. Hell, it’s more than tough. There are moments of despair, depression and angst. A longing to be just like everyone else. Part of the herd. Yet when he said what he said to me, I could only conclude one thing: if I did follow the worn path that most people follow, I would live the rest of my life wondering ‘what if?’ Something I can never find in myself to do.
I am not saying I am better or worse than anyone else, nor am I judging peoples choices on the type of life they ‘choose’ to live. I am merely stating, that living the life you truly want is the only way I can truly live. For if we are not creating the future we truly want, are we living at all?
jayfinnauthor 
The grass is always greener…This has been definitely on my mind as of late, especially as I’m getting closer to making choices that will define the rest of my life (if they haven’t already). That’s an interesting clash of perspectives between you and your friend. Doing what you love definitely may have its sacrifices. I also wish I knew the right answer. I guess you just have to figure it out as you go.
Yup. Figure it out as we go along. Every choice we make, both large and small. Insignificant or otherwise all change our lives daily. Just close your eyes and feel your way through. Been working for me so far.